Slowly, his hand slipped away from his brother’s arm, fingers curling into his palm. He was twenty-seven years old and the Institute was thousands of light years away, in distance and in time, but when he looked upon his brothers standing just so, the memory burned him. How easy it would be, to put the blame and responsibility of the brothers’ current state on other selves. But no, this division had not been born of a false Rubedo. This division had begun long before Gaignun had disappeared beneath their father’s control, long before Albedo had breathed his last in the space-time anomaly. This division had been present even before the Miltian Conflict—the cracks had been there all along, in a place where monsters had played as boys playing as monsters. He’d lost the right to jealousy then, had lost it when he had so carelessly incited it. Now, however, it was electric in him, a hot, childish jealousy of both his brothers and of their relationship, their trust in each other. He was ashamed of himself.
He was also desperately, yearningly lonely in this moment.
“Don’t apologize,” he said, vaguely surprised to find his voice steady. “Sometimes, it’s necessary.”
He had cried as he held Nigredo’s body in his arms. He had cried again when the heartbeat shadowing his own had faded from him. He had just cried now, thinking of the impossible burden their youngest brother had carried for so long, too long, of that brother’s insistence of being worthless. It would seem all his tears were reserved for family.
Eyes anywhere but the simple image of Albedo’s hand clutching Nigredo’s shirt, they’re too young for this, he carefully swiped the debris and remnants of shattered glass from the blown out window and then sat on the edge of the sill.
“Back where I was,” he began, suddenly answering a question long since passed, “all the Travelers—which is what we were called—were split into a different Norse god’s House. Each Traveler received a specific power from their House’s god. Those of House Loki were either bestowed telepathy or telekinesis and, like their patron god, those of House Loki were often inclined to starting mischief amongst their fellow Travelers.
“When I saw the two of you...” He turned away, looking out the window with a stubborn tightness to his jaw. “…I thought that one of them had been screwing around with my head. I knew the two of you weren’t in Asgard and my mental defenses…aren’t what they used to be. It seemed like an obvious conclusion. Someone from Loki’s House was playing a game and I was at the heart of it.”
That is what he had meant by his Loki remark. That, and nothing more.
no subject
He was also desperately, yearningly lonely in this moment.
“Don’t apologize,” he said, vaguely surprised to find his voice steady. “Sometimes, it’s necessary.”
He had cried as he held Nigredo’s body in his arms. He had cried again when the heartbeat shadowing his own had faded from him. He had just cried now, thinking of the impossible burden their youngest brother had carried for so long, too long, of that brother’s insistence of being worthless. It would seem all his tears were reserved for family.
Eyes anywhere but the simple image of Albedo’s hand clutching Nigredo’s shirt, they’re too young for this, he carefully swiped the debris and remnants of shattered glass from the blown out window and then sat on the edge of the sill.
“Back where I was,” he began, suddenly answering a question long since passed, “all the Travelers—which is what we were called—were split into a different Norse god’s House. Each Traveler received a specific power from their House’s god. Those of House Loki were either bestowed telepathy or telekinesis and, like their patron god, those of House Loki were often inclined to starting mischief amongst their fellow Travelers.
“When I saw the two of you...” He turned away, looking out the window with a stubborn tightness to his jaw. “…I thought that one of them had been screwing around with my head. I knew the two of you weren’t in Asgard and my mental defenses…aren’t what they used to be. It seemed like an obvious conclusion. Someone from Loki’s House was playing a game and I was at the heart of it.”
That is what he had meant by his Loki remark. That, and nothing more.