This demeanor was remembered, gracing humor and kindness in fragments of the past. It came as languid talks in the courtyard, as quiet laughter in the dead of night. Nigredo flushed pink in the recollection, in the sea of his memories. He had not seen the eldest brother make such an expression, not since Sakura--
The smile vanished as if it had never been, replaced by a look Nigredo feared above all others. He did not know which part of his words had caused the change, sparked the shift in emotion. He could not begin to guess which would be rejected and which would require justification. Too much, not enough, and the boy trembled lightly against Rubedo's touch.
What came made its mark. It tore through the fragile ends of his psyche as Nigredo struggled to understand. He ultimately failed in the attempt--for what manner of person would express gratitude for his actions? Who would grant absolution to their executioner and call him their best friend? What had Nigredo done to earn such remarks? Trembles became shakes, and the child struggled against the onslaught of tears.
All else vanished beneath this single focus.
"You know," he began, breath hitching. "You know what I was made for." There was no doubt, not in the matter of years and knowledge. It registered as pain, considering the fact, and his face crumbled. "Why?" asked Nigredo. "When I don't deserve anything from you?" No matter what he had done.
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The smile vanished as if it had never been, replaced by a look Nigredo feared above all others. He did not know which part of his words had caused the change, sparked the shift in emotion. He could not begin to guess which would be rejected and which would require justification. Too much, not enough, and the boy trembled lightly against Rubedo's touch.
What came made its mark. It tore through the fragile ends of his psyche as Nigredo struggled to understand. He ultimately failed in the attempt--for what manner of person would express gratitude for his actions? Who would grant absolution to their executioner and call him their best friend? What had Nigredo done to earn such remarks? Trembles became shakes, and the child struggled against the onslaught of tears.
All else vanished beneath this single focus.
"You know," he began, breath hitching. "You know what I was made for." There was no doubt, not in the matter of years and knowledge. It registered as pain, considering the fact, and his face crumbled. "Why?" asked Nigredo. "When I don't deserve anything from you?" No matter what he had done.